Clearing the Way for New Beginnings

It's funny how our paths in life twist and turn and bring us to new beginnings.  There have been times in my life when I can literally see the fork in the road and must choose one path over another.  Like when my now fiancé proposed to me--it was yes or no--left or right.  More often than not my life seems to be more like a trail in the woods.  You know when your hiking in a park in the woods and the path kind of twists and turns and then you approach a place where you can choose one path or another but you know that no matter the path you choose your going to eventually get to the end--out of the woods.  That is basically how my life, and most lives in general, seem to play out.  Sometimes we just wander upon our paths.  When you are walking with God as your leader you know that no matter which way the path turns or which path you choose God will get you through and "out of" the woods.  I think the important thing is: don't forget to enjoy the beauty of the woods as your journeying along--don't just focus your thoughts on getting out of the woods.  I too often am focusing on the end result rather than living in the present.  I think: once I get to this point in life, have accomplished said goal, desire, etc. I will be happy, I can slow down, I can breathe.  I am beginning to realize that I must make changes for myself now, at this moment.  Changes--no matter how small add up.  I wish sometimes--most times--I could blink myself into a new person.  I am frustrated often by my current situation and how I choose things that are out of habit and were chosen days, months, years ago by the person I used to be but no longer want to be.  It is hard to break out of comfort zones.  Slowly but surely through prayer, patience, and persistence God is helping me to stop what is my default mode of living and to evaluate what I am choosing and choose differently so that I will be a better person for Him.  It ain't easy let me tell you!  I must fight with old demons and stop justifying my old choices and start making new choices so as to make the changes I am determined to see in myself.  It helps immensely to have friends to talk to.  By voicing my feelings and thoughts aloud I hear the irrationality of them and it never fails that God provides me with a friend who reassures me and encourages me.  I often am so engrained in one way of thinking that I can't seem to look at things another way.  It's like living life wearing smudged glasses for so long that you accept that the world is and has always been blurred and unclear.  Then one day it dawns on you--CLEAN the glasses and you could see things clearer.  And even though I know that I could completely drop everything all at once and clean my glasses I am so used to seeing the world in a blurred manner that seeing everything with well-defined edges would be overwhelming.  So I find myself just fogging my lenses and wiping ever so gently.  I wish that I had the courage to take out the cleaner and completely wipe them clean--I don't at this point--but if I keep at it I will eventually be able to say "I can see clearly now the rain has gone"--a great song (I couldn't resist).  And it is at this point when God's strength is needed more than ever: to live in the world after the rain.